What did he do? Oh no, not on my watch? Cut him off! For arguments, we find later in life did not even warrant the confusion in the first place. As sisters, we have to learn to balance our emotions when we are called to the scene to help troubleshoot our sisters' relationships with promise. Please note, I am speaking about relationships with hope, not abusive ones. Today, I want to share a few of my "learned" steps when called to support a sister.
Be slow to speak. Listen more to what she is saying.
Say a silent prayer before speaking. Let the Holy Spirit guide you.
Do not insert your experience(s) with a broken relationship into the sister's story. There is no "same" love story. You may explain how you got over a struggle from an angle of empowerment, but don't dwell on it. Shift the conversation back to her (make the connection to why your statement relates to overcoming a hurdle). Remember, she is the one who needs her sister's ears.
If you are not versed in certain areas, appeal to things to lift her spirit. Use your area of strengths to motivate her.
Do not take a defense strategy on behalf of her until you have heard both sides.
While waiting to hear both sides, repeat to her what you have heard is the problem. Sometimes even repeating the problem makes someone think.
If you end up serving as a mediator, reframe the couple's problem from an angle of positive understanding. For example, if someone says I know, she felt this way. No, you can not define someone's feelings. It is better you say how you felt.
