Dear beautiful people,
I can't stop thanking you for the prayers, messages, and calls in 2022. The first year of grief was a mountain, but God pulled me through. I promised myself that if I were to survive 2022, God's purpose for my life wouldn't be delayed in 2023.
I want to answer two of the questions people have for me.
Q. Are you at the place to describe the day you lost your father?
A. I am not in the place to write about that day. However, I can tell you I have a breakthrough. From the moment of Code Blue room 5, I felt as if my heart stopped for one year from 6:52 am on December 1, 2021, until New Year's Eve, 2022. On New year's Eve 2022, I found myself screaming in tears and praising God simultaneously. I grasped for air every day until that day. I survived minute by minute, praying for God to keep me. My father was so embedded in my life. He supported my dreams, loved me, corrected me, and loved me more. He was the one cheering me on to reach 10,000 steps a day. Even if it meant he had to walk for a few minutes or pull a seat and sing to my workout music. I could not even dance as I did after his death (aka weight gain). Yesterday was my first dance to 10,000 steps. Dad was the voice cheering and praying for his family in the little and big things. My Dad would physically fight for me if he had to (striking a point here). He was the earthly covering God trusted my life to for years. So, yes! Grief is a giant; God, counseling, and a great support system will conquer the pain. I thank God for healing!
Q: What will you say to someone who is experiencing loss of any kind?
A. If your soul hurts because your heart pains, don't give up. Please seek help. Do the little things. If you crushed 10,000 steps before your loss, reach for 2000 steps. Start doing the things you once loved in incremental pieces. Plan a day away from home. Loss can sometimes keep us in our rooms and closets. Wear perfume, and arrange a beauty day, even if you wash your own hair and fix your nails. Love yourself a little. Tiny raindrops will turn into a big puddle of love. What you can't do is crawl up to die. You have to fight! Fight with smiles even if you feel like crying. Speak to a therapist or church counselor and seek prayer. God, above, will pull us all out and bring us happiness and joy.